The world is awash with bad employment advice.

It may come from well-meaning people who don’t know any better. Or it might be offered by savvy operators with interests diametrically opposed to yours.

Either way, following bad advice can be career limiting at best and career ending at worst.

For the talented and ambitious employee who wants to know how the world of employment actually works, this is your bible.

About the Author

I studied philosophy during undergraduate in a misguided attempt to uncover universal truths about life.

Philosophy is great for this. Studying philosophy in undergraduate is not.

Not only did I fail to achieve enlightenment, I barely managed to graduate. Sure, concurrently working full time did not help. But more importantly, I did not play the academic game well. As an idealistic youth, I viewed academia as a pure undertaking that was not to be sullied by gamesmanship like choosing courses for their high GPA potential or constantly arguing for higher grades.1Yes, I was an idiot.

I then went on to work for various banks in an attempt to make a bunch of money. I got that part (mostly) right. Unlike academia, I was never terribly naïve about the world of work. I understood that careers are a game, that there are rules, and that you should use them to your advantage. And it was a game that I learned how to play well.

Soon, friends and acquaintances began to notice. They asked for advice, and I obliged. My advice offended some people. Others complained that my advice was “unethical”. But the ones who applied it began to see similar career benefits as I did.

Those people suggested I share this advice with a broader audience. I politely declined. Frankly, I thought everything that I knew about employment was common knowledge.2There must be a name for this type of fallacious thinking. But as those suggestions grew more frequent and I grew sadder watching good employees get taken advantage of by wily employers, I decided that I had to do something.

So here I am, dispensing unorthodox career advice on the internet. Sorry, did I say dispensing advice? I meant entertaining bored cubicle workers. Follow any suggestions at your own peril and don’t blame me if you mess up the execution. Although I know what I’m talking about, no accredited institution has blessed me with any “This Guy Careers Real Good” sheepskin. TLDR: don’t sue me.


If you send this to any of my employees, I will punch you in the face.

Friend, employs people